Hey Joe

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Fear not Shining fans, Danny Torrance has not finally met the business end of Jack's ax, or any other grisly demise that I'm aware of. He is merely the subject of today's Random Celebrity Update.

Dan Lloyd played the Little Lord Fauntleroy of the Overlook Hotel, Danny Torrance. Who can forget that cute little tyke, furiously pedaling his Big-Wheel around the deserted hallways of that creepy hotel, hallways awash with bits of Grady girl? Or his finger/BFF, Tony, who warns Mrs. Torrance about the looming attempt to redrum her ass.

A small aside, I've never understood the casting of Duvall in this movie. I found her annoying as all get out. And she's hard on the eyes. I could almost understand Jack's attempts to put her out of his misery.

Anyway, back to Dan Lloyd. Besides the role "Young Liddy" in the 1982 TV movie, Will: The Autobiography of G. Gordon Liddy, Lloyd has no other acting credits to speak of.

Today, Lloyd is a biology teacher at Elizabethtown Community & Technical College. I sent Lloyd an e-mail in hopes of gathering a little bit more information, specifically:

• Why did you stop acting?
• What is your fondest memory of working on The Shining?
• Are you still in touch with Jack Nicholson, or anyone else from the film?
• What's your favorite thing about being a teacher? Your least favorite?
• What do you do when you're not working?

So I'll keep you posted. Oh, one other question I will ask should he respond - "What ever happened to Lisa and Louise Burns, aka the creepy Grady girls?"

All I could find is that Lisa obtained a degree in Literature, and Louise become a microbiologist.

So you got yourself a bit of a RCU two-fer today. Lucky you.

Nothing like the feeling of Hot Caramel

Relax alumni of New York High School of Performing Arts, Coco ain't dead.

In the better late than never department, several months ago Lisa took the girl and a friend to see the remake of Fame. That evening we were discussing the original movie, or what we could remember of it anyway. One of us (OK, Lisa) recalled Irene Cara exposing her sad and withered duggs, which begat a discussion on sad and withered duggs Irene Cara. Neither of us could recall hearing much about her since the early 80's, so Lisa asked that my next Random Celebrity Update be on Irene Cara.

Most of you probably remember that, in addition to Fame and its appropriately titled chart topping single, Cara also co-wrote and recorded Flashdance…What a Feeling, which was a huge hit for the movie appropriately titled Flashdance. Mmmmm, Jennifer Beals….. Flashdance…WAF won Cara a slew of awards back in 83 and 84 including the 1983 Academy Award for Best Song, and a Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance in 1984.

But what else?

Her pre-Fame and Flashdance credits include appearances on The Electric Company (loved it), Kojak, and What's Happening!

Between Fame and Flashdance, Cara appeared in a PBS TV movie about civil rights leader, Medgar Evers where she played Myrlie Evers-Williams. She also appeared in 1982's Killing 'em Softly.

In 1982, Cara starred in a pilot episode of her own sitcom, appropriately titled Irene, but it was not picked up by the network despite favorable reviews. In 1983 she played herself in the dismal Mr. T. movie, D.C. Cab.

For the rest of the 80's and 90's she appeared in a handful of forgettable movie and television roles, her last Imdb credit being the host of a 1995, 23 minute video offering tips on how to avoid and end domestic violence.

Her songs have continued to receive airplay, and have appeared on dozens of movie and television soundtracks, everything from Ally McBeal and Nip/Tuck to Dancing with the Stars.

Today, Cara fronts the hip hop/jazz/rock/R&B/Latin/soul band appropriately named Hot Caramel.

You’re so COOL Brewster!

I realized that it's been a while since I'd pleasured you with an edition of Random Celebrity Update. Well that blunder ends now!

Today, I give you Stephen Geoffreys, aka, Evil Ed Thompson, AKA Sam Ritter, but we'll get to that in a minute.

Several years ago I told the girl (our resident ghoul film fan) what I great little flick Fright Night was, and ever since she's been pestering me to watch it. So Wednesday night while the boy was at a birthday sleepover and Lisa was out medicating herself with some co-workers, the girl and I threw some burgers on the grill and kicked back to enjoy a little mid-80's kitschy horror.

I will still stand by my statement that Fright Night is a good little film; better than your average mindless teenage horror flick, if you can get past the crappy 80's clothes and the future Mrs. Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy (I had no idea, I just found out while researching this post). It's actually a very well done film; creepy with a good bit of the funny thrown in as well. Oh, and a couple of the boobies too, which I'd forgotten about.

Me:     Oh…boobies.

Girl:    (dripping sarcasm) Lovely

But I digress. We're not here to do a Siskel -esque dissection of Fright Night. We're here to answer the question of what the hell happened to Stephen "You're so cool Brewster!" Geoffreys.

Geoffreys played the memorable role of "Evil" Ed Thompson, dorky parachute pant wearing buddy of Charlie Brewster, the unfortunate lad who has a vampire for a next-door neighbor. He was classic, a great, odd little character who improved the film immeasurably. But then what?

After a handful of small roles, most notably in the 1986 Sean Penn/Christopher Walken film At Close Range, Geoffreys sort of went MIA.

About this time emerged a new actor on the Hollywood scene, or perhaps it was the Simi Valley scene; Sam Ritter – Gay Porn actor.

Yes it appears that sometime around 1990, for whatever reason, Geoffreys left mainstream film and began appearing in adult films, most of them geared toward the male persuasion. A few notable titles include: Mechanics bi Day; Lube Job bi Night (freaking brilliant), Hunk Hotel, Leather Buddies, Butt Blazer, Uncut Glory, and the oh-so subtle Guys Who Crave Big Cocks.

According to his Imdb profile Geoffreys, or Ritter, appeared in thirty adult films. Recently it looks like he's been trying to make a cum back (sorry) in more main stream films, appearing in the 2007 horror movie, Sick Girl. At present, he appears to be in the midst of filming The Diary of Randy Rose.

With any luck maybe we'll be given the dubious pleasure of enjoying Stephens…stuff…more regularly.

A small aside, while beginning this post yesterday I learned of the death of John Hughes. I thought it a strange coincidence that I had just made reference to The Breakfast Club at the end of an earlier post, and was now writing about an actor from another well known 80's film when 80's icon Hughes up and drops dead.

Hey, don't blame me. It wasn't my fault.

Karen Valentine

Relax on-line students of Walt Whitman High School, Karen Valentine isn't dead. We've just gone deep into the Wayback machine for your Friday Random Celebrity Update.

The ever cute, ever perky Karen Valentine is, thirty-five years later, still best remembered for her role as ever dingy, ever adorable teacher, Alice Johnson on the 1969-1974 sitcom, Room 222.

Personally, the only thing I remember about that show (aside from what I believe was a catchy theme song) is that when Karen appeared in the opening credits, she gives a bright, sunny smile and then the school bus doors close on her ass.

A California girl, Karen was born in Sebastopol in 1947. Damn. Girls gonna turn 62 this May. Tragedy.

So, anyway….Karen got her acting start on a series called Dream Girl of '67. Never heard of it. Oh, but prior to that, as a teenager, she was named Apple Blossom Queen of Sebastopol.

OK, then at some point she was on Dream Girl of '67. I'm guessing this was around 1967.

Then the whole Room 222 thing happened and she did well, winning an Outstanding Actress in a Supporting Role Emmy in 1970.

After Room 222 flunked out, she got her own show, "Karen," which only lasted for 13 episodes.

According to Karen's IMDb entry she appears to have kept pretty busy over the years, doing the typical guest spots on such acting troughs as The Love Boat and Starsky and Hutch. She did a lot of one-time appearances on a slew of shows, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and she was a regular guest on the old Hollywood Squares show back in the mid-70's. The last role that appears on IMDb is Wedding Daze where she played opposite John Larroquette.

I read that she's done some small theater stuff, in particular a 2003 production of Steel Magnolias.

She continues to spurn my advances and remains married to some dude named Gary Verna.

Michael Beck aka The Best

Relax Internet Warriors, Swan ain't dead. But he is the subject of today's edition of Random Celebrity Update.

Today's guest is Michael Beck. And I'm not talking about Michael Beck "The Insurance Advisor and Coach,", although I'm sure he would also be a fascinating subject. No I'm talking about Michael Beck the actor, best known for two movie roles; the tough but sensitive, bare-chested warlord, Swan from the 1979 cult classic The Warriors, and Sonny Malone in 1980's assumed crap fest Xanadu.

I say assumed for two reasons; one, because I have never actually seen Xanadu (but since when does a lack of firsthand knowledge prevent me from passing judgment?) and two out of respect for a friend of mine who swears that this movie is great, but whom I also know to be a drunk and so her word must be taken with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila.

I also recall seeing stills of this butt ugly film, and while I cannot blame Michael who was simply a victim of epoch, coming of age at the wrong time, the 80's were without a doubt a physically ugly time in our history.

Be that as it may, we are not here to debate the merits of Michael's hair and wardrobe, nor the retarded plot line of Xanadu (album cover painter pursues roller-skated muse into a mural to profess his love) nor the kick-ass plot line of The Warriors (nine gang members must bop their way through enemy territory, a territory run amok with terrifying gangs dressed like mimes complete with top-hats and suspenders – Oooo!!, and boys that wear baseball uniforms, paint their faces and carry baseball bats), we're here to talk about Michael Beck, the man, the actor.

So yea after the Xanadu debacle (for which he received a Razzie nomination for Worst Actor), Michael Beck the actor likely had a little trouble finding work. He is quoted as saying, "The Warriors opened a lot of doors in film for me, which Xanadu then closed."

Over the years Michael has kept busy with roles in both movies (The Golden Seal, The Last Ninja) and television (Houston Knights, JAG, Robin's Hoods). He's also narrated much of John Grisham's formulaic claptrap, in addition to other books and words and stuff.

He also voiced the character of Swan for the 2005 video game adaptation of The Warriors.

Last we spoke, Beck is still married to Cari, a songwriter. The couple has two children, son Cleon and daughter Ajax. I believe they still live somewhere in California, but what with the restraining order I can no longer say with certainty.

Call me bro. Don't be like that.

Could’ve been a winner boy, you moved quite well...

Billy Hairlip Haislip Squier

Haislip? WTF?

Relax Stroke Lovers, he's not dead, he's only your Friday Random Celebrity Update.

For those of you whose high school career occurred in the early 80's, your school dances were likely chockfull of the musical offerings of Mr. Billy Squier.

Personally, never having attended any school dances because I was a loser an independent thinker who wasn't about to insert a ring in his nose and allow himself to be led around by the unwashed masses doing whatever they deemed "popular", I wouldn't know. Perhaps one of you popular kids lemmings could confirm this for me.

Anyway…

His classic album, Don't Say No (1981) totally burned up the charts, spending 111 weeks on the Billboard where it peaked at #5. The following singles also charted:

• "The Stroke"               #17
• "In The Dark"              #35
• "Lonely Is The Night"   #28
• "My Kinda Lover"         #45

Born and raised in Wellesley, MA, Squier began playing piano at age 9 and guitar at age 11. His first band, the Bluesbreakers, included a couple of friends from high school. After graduation he began playing in local night clubs. Other early Squier bands were the Sidewinders and Piper.

Squier enjoyed a decent amount of success in the 80's, following Don't Say No with Emotions in Motion and Signs of Life. All three albums went platinum.

I think the death knell for Billy Squire was the video for Rock Me Tonight from his Signs of Life album. Seriously, WTF was he thinking? Prancing around in a pink tank top, dancing like a f*cking homosexual retard. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against homosexuals or retards, but Billy, choose one or the other. Either would have been fine, but combined it was just too much for the viewing public to handle. I also heard just the other day (no lie) on the radio that Squier was kind of a jackass to interviewers and radio folk, and that eventually everybody just got fed up with his sh*t and stopped supporting him.

I don't' really know what he's up to these days. I read that, in addition to enjoying dancing like a retarded homosexual mountain climbing and gardening, he also wrote a screenplay. I do know that he has done a stint or two with Ringo Starr's All Star Band.

I think he also counsels hair lips, but that could just be bullsh*t.

Adam Rich – A popular son of a bitch

Every so often I'll check my "stats" on Google Analytics. I do this because I need frequent reminders of how I'm basically writing this blog for myself. Golly but my stats suck ass.

Be that as it may, I have found that I get a pretty consistent stream of folks swinging by looking for information on "cute as a bug's ear" child actor, Adam Rich.

I have no idea if the whole Sacramento tire store business is true or not, but I do know this; Adam, your fans miss you. I think it's time to resurface and perhaps bring them up to speed on what you've been doing with yourself, lo these many years. Your fans need some answers to questions such as the following:

• Are you still in touch with your Eight is Enough costars?
• Did you pull a Bonaduce and lose your virginity to some older fan on the back-lot of Warner Bros. Studios?
• Did you ever see any of your "sisters" naked? (I'll assume a NO on Mary as I have read nothing about your going blind.)
• Did they make you wear that "long bowl" hairstyle, or was that a personal choice?
• A tire store? WTF?

If you're looking for a vehicle by which to reconnect with your fans, look no further. My site is very popular. Very popular.

A Very Brady post

I was a child of the 70's. I began kindergarten in 1970 and entered high-school in the fall of 1979. I grew up with television shows like The Six-Million Dollar Man/Bionic Woman, Match Game (72, 73, 74, etc.), The Waltons, Room 222, Barney Miller, Starsky and Hutch, the NBC Mystery Movie, Happy Days, Baretta, The Love Boat, Donnie and Marie, and Saturday morning cartoons.

But I think the childhood show that probably stuck with me most, for better or worse is The Brady Bunch. I recall when this was a prime time (Friday's 8PM, followed by The Partridge Family) television show. Once in syndication you couldn't get away from it, and it ran daily throughout the 1970's. There was a time when I would have gone head to head with anyone (except maybe Snooze) on Brady Trivia. I'm not proud of this mind you; the fact that I know that Alice's ex-flame turned swindler, Mark Mallard was knocked unconscious when he collided with a frozen leg of lamb being delivered by Sam the Butcher. I always sort of figured that my inane Brady knowledge would one day make me rich, or at least win me a free beer or something, but to date it has earned me zip.

Be that as it may, The Brady's have always held a special place in my heart, and therefore I have chosen them for today's Random Celebrity Update.

Mike Brady

Let's start at the top of the family food chain, shall we? Robert Reed, aka Mike Brady. Reed's strong moral fiber led the Brady's through many a domestic upheaval; from lost dogs and club house wars, to the pangs of first love and flirtations with cigarettes. Mike Brady was always there for his kids. Well now he's dead so he's not there for anyone. Reed died from AIDS complications in 1992.

Robert always fancied himself a true actor and detested what he considered the lowbrow nature of the show. He was always battling with the show's creator, Sherwood Schwartz about the plausibility of story lines, character motivation, etc.

"Just shut your highfalutin, Shakespearean trained pie hole and fall on the egg slicked kitchen floor like it says in the script!"

 

Carol Brady

Wife and mother, Carol Brady was played by future Wesson Oil huckster, Florence Henderson.

Currently 74 years old, Henderson still appears on television, be it on Ellen or some commercial for Polident or Depends. I totally wanted to bang Carol when I was 13, now, not so much. I think we can all agree that Florence has had the most successful post-Brady Bunch career.

 

Greg Brady

Barry William Blenkhorn, known professionally as Barry Williams, played eldest brother and kick-ass 'fro sporting stud, Greg Brady. So far as how well he's aged? Tragedy.

Ever the big brother, Greg always looked out for his younger siblings, from threatening to knock his campaign manager, Chester's, head in if he spread ugly rumors about Marcia and Felix Brown, to offering to "handle" Buddy Hinton for teasing Cindy. But tough guy on TV does not always translate to real world tough guy, as evidenced by the embarrassing shellacking he suffered at the hands of Danny Bonaduce.

Like most of the Brady kids, Williams' career suffered during the post-Brady 70's. Have you ever seen those variety shows they did? Horrendously wonderful stuff. I think he may have put out an album at some point, ala David Cassidy, but I could be totally wrong. Williams did become involved in musical theater, performing in such shows as Grease and West Side Story. He also penned a book, Growing Up Brady, (Yes, I own it), appeared regularly on S Club 7 in Hollywood and supposedly blogs but the posts are all written by some guy named Eric Greenberg. I don't get it and don't really care because I want to move on to…

 

Marcia Brady

Maureen McCormick…swoon. Is it just me, or does she have a bit of a Demi Moore thing going on?

In addition to all the Brady Bunch shit, McCormick has appeared in tons of post-Brady shit. OK, maybe not much great shit, but she's kept at it so back the f*ck up off of Marcia. You want to rope on someone, save it for Susan Olsen.

McCormick married some tool dude named Michael Cummings in 1985 and they have one daughter, Natalie (b.1989) The family lives in Westlake Village, CA. Most recently McCormick can be seen in something called Outsider's Inn where she plays the innkeeper. She's also penned an autobiography of her own, entitled "Here's the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice." Its scheduled publication date was last Tuesday.

I totally wanted to bang Marcia when I was 13 – 43.

 

Peter Brady

Christopher Knight, the middle-male Brady, aka Scoop Brady, the thumper of Buddy Hinton, pork chops and apple sauce, Mr. No Personality and breaker of the vase. I think I related most to Peter for some reason, perhaps because we were both middle kids.

Knight went into high-tech back in the late 80's, proving himself a natural salesman.

I believe Knight appeared in all those crummy Brady Bunch reunion shows, but he's since appeared on The Surreal Life and My Fair Brady, which likely turned out to be a bit of a train wreck, though I've never watched it.

 

Jan Brady

Eve Plumb, who played troubled middle child, Jan Brady, has, more than any other cast member, attempted to distance herself from her alter ego, and for this I admire her.

In 1976, while Bradymania was still going strong, Plumb appeared in Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway, where she played a runaway named Dawn who was a teenager. Oh, and a prostitute.

In addition to numerous roles over the years, Plumb appeared in a stage performance of The Real Live Brady Bunch. This was a group of actor who did live, verbatim performances of old Brady Bunch episodes. I was fortunate enough to see them perform (sans Plumb) the Silver Platters episode in San Francisco sometime in the early 1990's.

Today Plumb lives with her second husband, computer consultant Kenneth Pace, in Laguna Beach, CA.

I never really wanted to bang Jan. Sorry Eve.

 

Bobby Brady

Mike Lookinland, AKA Bobby, AKA, another aging tragedy, AKA the one suffering from Ron Howard syndrome always annoyed the sh*t out of me. I don't know why exactly. Maybe it was his annoying bowl haircut. Maybe it was his ugly braces that appeared as his character aged. Maybe it was because as an actor he sucked ass.

The Wikipedia lowdown is as follows:

After the final season of The Brady Bunch he appeared in the 1974 disaster film The Towering Inferno.

He recently worked as a cameraman for the WB network.

He's been married to Kelly Wermuth since 1987 and they have two sons, Scott (b. 1990) and Joe (b.1993). Kelly worked as a script supervisor on Touched By An Angel.

He was arrested on a DUI in 1997 after crashing his Ford Bronco.

He reprised his role as Bobby Brady in the 1988 Christmas special A Very Brady Christmas, and again in the 1990 sequel series The Bradys, in which Bobby Brady had a racing car accident which caused him to be wheelchair-bound throughout the series.

The youngest one in curls

I think my favorite "Cindy" episode was the one where she appears on "Questions for Kids", a kid's "Jeopardy" type television quiz show, and then totally freezes up once "the little red light" on the TV camera goes on. Sorry, I searched for a picture of this classic deer-in-the-headlights shot, but alas, no luck.

So yea, Olsen went on to do graphic design work, and a stint in radio as a talk show host. She's appeared in all the Brady reunion shows save for A Very Brady Christmas when she was on her honeymoon with her "first husband."

Today she lives in LA with her 12-year old son Michael.

I never wanted to bang Cindy, but I'd take a crack at Susan.

 

Alice Nelson

And finally we have Ann Bradford Davis, famous for her role as whacky Brady housekeeper, and producer of Sam the Butcher's perpetual blue balls, Alice Nelson.

Davis got her start doing stand-up comedy in the 1950's. The Emmy award winning Nelson appeared on The Bob Cummings Show in the late 1950's before landing the role of Alice.

At some point along the way, Davis was "born again." Never married, nor publically linked to anyone romantically, let's just say for the sake of argument that Davis is more than likely a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Charlie, or Pam, or Jean, or Vicki, or Anna, or Wendy. At some point she lived (and perhaps still does) in a religious community. She has appeared in most if not all of the Brady reunions, did some television commercials and returned to the stage in the 1990s.

Allan Melvin aka Sam the Butcher

Dead

 

Cousin Oliver

Who gives a shit?

This fish is beginning to smell

Gee big news flash CNN.

As I recall, someone else broke this story months and Sundays ago.

But thanks for the credit ya bunch of Johnny Come Latelies.

Nobody effs with the Baldies

According to my calendar, it's time for another edition of Random Celebrity Update.

Today we dig a little deeper into the old obscurity bag, extracting for your consideration actress Linda Manz.

If you remember her at all you probably remember Manz for her role as Peewee, girlfriend of Terror, leader of the Fordham Baldies in the 1979 movie The Wanderers. Great movie by the way. Remember:

• "Don't f*ck with the Wongs"
• "You look like a bunch of ears w/out p*icks"
• "Leave the kid alone."
• The Ducky Boys

Check it out. You'll dig it.

Anyway, back to Manz. The only bio info provided by IMDb is that she was born in 1961 and she's 4' 10". Wow, good stuff.

It appears that she's only made thirteen movie and/or television appearances during her career, the last one something called Buddy Boy in 1999. My exhaustive internet research turned up little more than squat. One thing that may be worth noting to you movie buffs is that she played the lead role in the 1980 Dennis Hopper movie, Out of the Blue, which Hopper saw as "a follow-up to Easy Rider (1969) in that this is what would have 'likely happened' to the Easy Rider characters ten years later."

So it's got that going for it; which is nice.

Linda, if you're out there doll I apologize for the somewhat crappy update, but whatever you've been up to apparently hasn't been made public. Maybe you want it that way. If not, kick down some details and I'll expand.

What are the rest of you hanging around for? This is between me and Linda. Get the hell out of here.