Known as "Hotlanta" (lame) the capitol of Georgia is apparently the place to be if you're single and looking to make a stop at Swingtown.
According to Forbes.com:
"To determine which U.S. cities are most comfortable for soloists, (Soloists? Why not just call them what they are; masturbators) we ranked the 40 largest urbanized areas in mainland America in seven different categories: number of singles, nightlife, culture, cost of living alone, job growth, online dating activity and coolness. To determine a city's cool factor, we partnered with Harris Interactive who conducted a poll, asking, "Among the following U.S. Cities, which one do you think is the coolest?"
Isn't that kind of a lame way to determine the coolest city? I mean the researcher is assuming that those surveyed have not only been to those cities, but also have an inkling about what is cool. What if those people just happen to be the biggest dorks on the planet? Would that mean "mom and dad's basement" might score a "coolest" ranking?
"Dude, my folks let me play WoW (World of Warcraft) as late as I want, and I get to drink beer."
"Yea, but you're 39 years old."
"I KNOW! Is that sweet or what? My life is the coolest!"
Local city, and last year's winner, San Francisco apparently dropped to the #2 spot this year. While it scored particularly high in coolness (third out of 40 – don't forget we've got Lucas Arts and the nearby Skywalker Ranch), the geeks apparently did not put down their controllers long enough to cast their votes.
Scoring dead last was Jacksonville, Florida. Jacksonville scored poorly in all categories with the exception of online dating, where it took 7th place.
Jacksonville's new slogan:"Hey boy. Are you ugly and got no social skills? Well learn to type and get your ass down to Jacksonville. Hot, horny women are dying to meet you."
OK, we need something lighter for a Monday; not that appreciating life and loved ones isn't important, but it's just so damn heavy for a Monday post.
So let's see, light, light….How's this?
According to Yahoo (at least at this particular minute), presently one of the most popular entertainment stories is that Katie "Mrs. Cruise" Holmes, has now sheared off even more of her hair, going from a bob to more of a "pixie" like hairdo.
Is that fascinating or what?
Thank God Hayden Panettiere's father got arrested for bitch-slapping his wife. I'd hate to think that we're so shallow as to allow a story about Katie Holmes' hair to become the number one story of the moment.
And a big thank you to Amanda Beard for having the courage to standkneel up for her convictions; something about comfortable skin care, or furry skin or the like. Regardless, Kudos Amanda, and God Bless America.
Reports are flooding in that Salma Hayek and Franci-Henrri, Francis-Hemmy, Frenchie have called off their engagement.
No comments as to the whys were given, but we all know why.
Salma, call me.
Be it known, Dear Hey Joe readers, that I will be at Lake Tahoe all next week, and unless I experience a total geek out, and visit the public library (totally possible by the way) there probably won't be many posts a-comin', however you are free to rummage through the archives for past gems and a peek into the life and mind of Joe. Or just sit here and stare at Salma's impressive (Good God) attributes.
"This is an absolutely huge, huge story for us. Essentially you have two of the most beautiful, famous people in the world. We've all seen they've had one baby, Shiloh, and it is the coolest, most adorable baby on the planet. And this time they're having two? It can't get any better."
Sarah Ivens, editor in chief of OK! Magazine, commenting on the impending birth of Brad and Angelina's twins.
So I was having trouble sleeping last night. We'd watched Survivor and LOST and I guess all that island fever just got my mental synapses a-firing, and sleep would not come. Well that and the colitis flair-up I'm currently experiencing. Last night it was quietly informing me that the Golden Willow's Hunan chicken may not have been the wisest choice.
Retiring to the family room so as not to disturb the wife, I flipped on the tube and began doing the HBO shuffle. I don't have the opportunity to watch TV very often, but whenever I do I head straight to the HBO channels. We've got hundreds of channels and the idea of actually trying to determine what's on any of them just overwhelms me. It's easier to just see what good movies may be showing.
So, for about 40 minutes I surfed back and forth between the following:
Great flick; made for kids but smart and funny enough for adults to enjoy. This is one of those hidden gems that if you have not seen it, definitely check it out. The story focuses on a young lad, his single mother, a local beatnik and a giant metal man, during the Big Red scare of the 1950's.
The first and best of the Lethal Weapon series; the salt 'n peppa pairing of Danny Glover and a mulletted Mel Gibson, with psycho Gary Busey as Mr. Joshua; action, buddies, witty banter and shooting bad guys. Good stuff.
Lest you mistake this for the similarly named Jack Nicholson, Cher vehicle from 1987, please re-read the title. This 2005 soft-core feature revolves around "a man and wife [who] are sucked into a whirlpool (in the wife's case, hot tub) of supernatural sex by a trio of randy, well-endowed witches."
Today show host, Meredith Vienna quickly apologized to viewers:
"Jane Fonda inadvertently said a word from the play that you don't say on television. It was a slip and obviously she apologizes and so do we," Vieira said. "We would do nothing to offend the audience, so please accept that apology. We here at the today show do not condone the use of such vulgarity when discussing our hoo-hoos. We prefer to use more dignified terms such as muff, snatch, love tunnel, cooter, beaver, poontang or bearded clam.
Co-anchor, Matt Lauer was too busy snickering and making sophomoric jokes and hand gestures with the stage hands to comment on the incident.
Former Today Show host Katie Couric had this to say:
"I blame Vienna. This never would have happened on my watch. Stupid cunt."
I haven't been much of a Woody Allen fan since probably Manhattan. That's not to say that he's created nothing of value since Manhattan, just that I sort of lost interest in the Woody Allen formula. I did see Scoop, but that was more for Scarlett than anything else.
And so it appears it will be again for VCB.
In conducting my research of this very newsworthy story, I came across the following snippet on some frenchie blog:
"Les gros seins de Scarlett vont distraire les spectateurs de la chaleur intense entre Penny et Javier. Scar-Jo et Penny ont aussi une scène lesbienne. Je suis sûr que Penny a adoré ça. J'espère que Salma (Hayek ndsr) n'était pas trop jalouse. Elle veut être la seule paire de seins énormes dans la vie de Penny. Ses seins n'aiment pas la compétition", explique le réalisateur.
Loosely translated, this means:
"The large centres of Scarlett will distract the spectators of intense heat between Penny and Javier. Scar-OJ and Penny have also a scene lesbian. I am sure that Penny adored that. I hope that Salma (Hayek ndsr) was not too jealous. She wants to be the only pair of enormous centres in the life of Penny. Its centres do not like the compétition', explains the realizer."
Being a fan of Scarlett's "large centres" this realizer looks forward to being completely distracted. And should Salma Hayek begin to feel the ugly pangs of jealousy, she should by all means bring her enormous centres to the party and join Penny in her enjoyment of Scarlett's large centers.
Now if only I could work my way to the center of this little shindig I'd really have something to blog about.
As I indicated in my 2-4-08 update: "I got almost 100 pages into this bitch and just got bored with it. I guess I really don't care enough about Gilmore (or Mailer) to wade through it.
So with having moved on to I Am Legend, I will officially declare myself a pussy. But as my pal Chuck Kinder said, "What's wrong with that? Some of my best friends are pussies."
That being said, so far I'm really digging Legend. Originally published in 1954 it was clearly a huge influence on the zombie movies of George Romero, as well as the work of novelist Stephen King. I've heard both good and bad reviews of the Will Smith movie; however I will form my own opinion once it's released next month. I'm a sucker for good zombie/vampire movies (also looking forward to 30 Days of Night and The Mist) so my inner sucker will likely sway my review.