"This is an absolutely huge, huge story for us. Essentially you have two of the most beautiful, famous people in the world. We've all seen they've had one baby, Shiloh, and it is the coolest, most adorable baby on the planet. And this time they're having two? It can't get any better."
Sarah Ivens, editor in chief of OK! Magazine, commenting on the impending birth of Brad and Angelina's twins.
So I was having trouble sleeping last night. We'd watched Survivor and LOST and I guess all that island fever just got my mental synapses a-firing, and sleep would not come. Well that and the colitis flair-up I'm currently experiencing. Last night it was quietly informing me that the Golden Willow's Hunan chicken may not have been the wisest choice.
Anyway…
Retiring to the family room so as not to disturb the wife, I flipped on the tube and began doing the HBO shuffle. I don't have the opportunity to watch TV very often, but whenever I do I head straight to the HBO channels. We've got hundreds of channels and the idea of actually trying to determine what's on any of them just overwhelms me. It's easier to just see what good movies may be showing.
So, for about 40 minutes I surfed back and forth between the following:
Great flick; made for kids but smart and funny enough for adults to enjoy. This is one of those hidden gems that if you have not seen it, definitely check it out. The story focuses on a young lad, his single mother, a local beatnik and a giant metal man, during the Big Red scare of the 1950's.
The first and best of the Lethal Weapon series; the salt 'n peppa pairing of Danny Glover and a mulletted Mel Gibson, with psycho Gary Busey as Mr. Joshua; action, buddies, witty banter and shooting bad guys. Good stuff.
Lest you mistake this for the similarly named Jack Nicholson, Cher vehicle from 1987, please re-read the title. This 2005 soft-core feature revolves around "a man and wife [who] are sucked into a whirlpool (in the wife's case, hot tub) of supernatural sex by a trio of randy, well-endowed witches."
The Witches of Breastwick. Ha! Ain't that a gas?
Not to mention awesome.
While appearing with Vagina Monologues creator, Eve Ensler on the Today Show yesterday, Jane Fonda let slip with the dreaded C-word. (dun, dun DUHH)
According to reports, they were discussing Ensler's Emmy winning play and Fonda was relating how she came to be a part of it.
"I was asked to do a monologue called 'C***,' and I said, 'I don't think so. I've got enough problems," Fonda said. "Then I came to New York to see Eve and it changed my life."
Today show host, Meredith Vienna quickly apologized to viewers:
"Jane Fonda inadvertently said a word from the play that you don't say on television. It was a slip and obviously she apologizes and so do we," Vieira said. "We would do nothing to offend the audience, so please accept that apology. We here at the today show do not condone the use of such vulgarity when discussing our hoo-hoos. We prefer to use more dignified terms such as muff, snatch, love tunnel, cooter, beaver, poontang or bearded clam.
Co-anchor, Matt Lauer was too busy snickering and making sophomoric jokes and hand gestures with the stage hands to comment on the incident.
Former Today Show host Katie Couric had this to say:
"I blame Vienna. This never would have happened on my watch. Stupid cunt."
Reports are skulking in about the new Woody Allen movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona and the Scarlett Johansson, Penélope Cruz "hot lesbian love scene" contained therein.
I haven't been much of a Woody Allen fan since probably Manhattan. That's not to say that he's created nothing of value since Manhattan, just that I sort of lost interest in the Woody Allen formula. I did see Scoop, but that was more for Scarlett than anything else.
And so it appears it will be again for VCB.
In conducting my research of this very newsworthy story, I came across the following snippet on some frenchie blog:
"Les gros seins de Scarlett vont distraire les spectateurs de la chaleur intense entre Penny et Javier. Scar-Jo et Penny ont aussi une scène lesbienne. Je suis sûr que Penny a adoré ça. J'espère que Salma (Hayek ndsr) n'était pas trop jalouse. Elle veut être la seule paire de seins énormes dans la vie de Penny. Ses seins n'aiment pas la compétition", explique le réalisateur.
Loosely translated, this means:
"The large centres of Scarlett will distract the spectators of intense heat between Penny and Javier. Scar-OJ and Penny have also a scene lesbian. I am sure that Penny adored that. I hope that Salma (Hayek ndsr) was not too jealous. She wants to be the only pair of enormous centres in the life of Penny. Its centres do not like the compétition', explains the realizer."
Being a fan of Scarlett's "large centres" this realizer looks forward to being completely distracted. And should Salma Hayek begin to feel the ugly pangs of jealousy, she should by all means bring her enormous centres to the party and join Penny in her enjoyment of Scarlett's large centers.
Now if only I could work my way to the center of this little shindig I'd really have something to blog about.
As you may recall, recently I decided to try and tackle Norman Mailer's The Executioner's Song.
As I indicated in my 2-4-08 update: "I got almost 100 pages into this bitch and just got bored with it. I guess I really don't care enough about Gilmore (or Mailer) to wade through it.
So with having moved on to I Am Legend, I will officially declare myself a pussy. But as my pal Chuck Kinder said, "What's wrong with that? Some of my best friends are pussies."
That being said, so far I'm really digging Legend. Originally published in 1954 it was clearly a huge influence on the zombie movies of George Romero, as well as the work of novelist Stephen King. I've heard both good and bad reviews of the Will Smith movie; however I will form my own opinion once it's released next month. I'm a sucker for good zombie/vampire movies (also looking forward to 30 Days of Night and The Mist) so my inner sucker will likely sway my review.
Saw the new Oscar contender, There Will Be Blood, last night.
Maybe I ain't as sophisticated as the city folk, or maybe the wine at La Veranda, coupled with the lateness of the hour made it difficult to concentrate. Maybe it was just boring as hell, but whatever the case, I was disappointed.
If you've read any of the reviews, you'll know why I went into this movie with "high hopes," (the scourge of movie goers everywhere.) And while I will certainly agree that Daniel Day-Lewis does a phenomenal job playing greedy, competitive oil baron, Daniel Plainview, the movie itself just didn't seem to go anywhere for me. It moved forward from a chronological standpoint, but that's about all I can say. Perhaps as evidence of my lack of sophistication, I kept waiting for something to happen. Maybe I should have simply viewed it as a character study; a slice of turn-of-the century Americana. Does that even make sense?
Anyway...
Now I know this movie is going to get a lot of buzz if/when the Oscars occur. Day-Lewis will very likely get a Best Actor nod and Paul Dano's performance has been compared to the breakout performance of Edward Norton in Primal Fear. Norton was truly phenomenal in that movie, and though interesting, I don't think Dano's performance even comes close.
On a somewhat related side note, I realized while watching Daniel Day-Lewis, how much his hands and his movements often resemble those of a chimpanzee. He's got these big, long hands and will often lean upon his curled up fists, much like a gorilla will. I'm sure it's not intentional, his monkey imitation.
Monday 1-14-08 On a final side note, Mark & Brian were asking for listener movie reviews this morning. I gave a call and actually got through, so was able to share my ignorance opinions with their nationally syndicated audience. They seemed to enjoy the term "sucked ass."
A recent article about Happy Days dad, Tom Bosley, and the accompanying picture, got me to thinking. Just how is the old gang doing these days? At 80 years old, Tom is still acting and apparently keeping pretty busy at it.
"It's what still drives me," he said in a statement issued to the cable channel. "I want to prove to myself that I can still do it."
While no doubt the most successful of the old Happy Days cast, I dare say he got the short end of the stick when it came to aging well. Ah well, one can't have everything. Ronnie, who played Ritchie Cunningham, went on to a booming career as a big-time Hollywood director.
In contrast, Don Most, aka Ralph "Malph" (Malph seems to be the only "last name" provided for Ralph) seems to have had the least exposure since leaving Happy Days. He does, or perhaps did, some voice-over work as well as appearing in the likes of CHiPs, The Love Boat and other such TV fodder.
I think Anson Williams may have aged the best out of the cast. Williams played Warren "Potsie" Webber (who comes up with these nicknames? Jeeze) Anson was one of the few original cast members to remain with the show until it died a much undignified death in 1984. He's gone on to have a successful career as a television director.
I was very disappointed the first time I saw and heard Henry Winkler act in a non-Happy Days role. He sounded like such a fembot, nothing like the cool Arthur Fonzarelli Brian and I so admired. More Gaay than Aaay. Winkler has continued acting in small film and television roles as well as trying his hand at directing and producing.
Erin played ugly kid sister, Joanie Cunningham who grew up to be ugly woman, Erin Moran. OK, there were better, prettier pictures of her out there, but I'd rather post the dog shot. After Happy Days and the thankfully short-lived Joanie Loves Chachi, Moran made the rounds of the late 70's early 80's crap television shows (can you say The Love Boat?). Apparently she also appeared on an episode of the Maury Povich Show where she made claims of having been "molested" by several male cast members. No evidence was provided and she apparently disappeared after a return from a commercial break. Beautiful.
Marion Ross was of course, the dingy, yet devoted archetypal 1950's housewife, Mrs. C. Ross has done everything from Burns and Allen to Broadway. Personally, I recall her turn as come-hither "girl doctor", Dr. Porter, on an early episode of the Brady Bunch. She played opposite Herbert Anderson's "boy doctor", Dr. Cameron, aka Mr. Mitchell on Dennis the Menace.
And for the proverbial pull out of the ass, I give you Gavan O'Herlihy who played Ritchie's basketball playing older brother Chuck Cunningham. O'Herlihy only appeared on a few of the early episodes from 1974. Not wanting to get trapped in television, he left the show to pursue a film career. And while he appears to have kept busy, you could hold a gun to my head and I still couldn't name one role he's played.
There were others; Chachi, Leather and Pinky Tuscadero, Al and Arnold. But I've grown bored and I'm sure you have too.
Completed in the car last night on our drive home…
Amusement Park
Every summer my mom gets us a 2 billion day pass to our favorite amusement park, Urine Kingdom!
My favorite ride is the flying Rectum Hair. It spins around until you feel like you want to dangle. One time we rode it 21 trillion times in a row. My sister felt a little too gangly, so we had to stop.
Her favorite ride is the Screaming Gas roller coaster. It has six loops and a dark wonky tunnel! We always get obtuse after riding the rides.
Mom gives us 46 dollars to spend on a rude lunch, but we always spend it on a chocolate-dipped dead rat instead!
Good times!
Peter Jackson to produce `The Hobbit'
Being such a fan of the LOTR trilogy, (the films, mind you. I can't be bothered to wade through all that Tolkien-ese) I am excited to hear that Peter Jackson will have a hand in the making of The Hobbit films, if only as the producer. With any luck he'll end up directing as well.
I was concerned, given their poor relations with Jackson that New Line Cinema would have to proceed with The Hobbit sans Peter. Jackson's vision is central to the Tolkien films, and trying to continue the series without him would have proved foolish beyond measure. Not only that, but New Line would have had to contend with hordes of hopping mad LOTR geeks (appropriately dressed as their favorite characters) attempting to breach their castle walls.
Middle-Earth can now breathe a collective sigh of relief.
Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce after just two months of marriage to Paris Hilton Sex Tape videographer, Rick Salomon. Anderson sites irreconcilable differences as the reason.
How does one determine that their differences are irreconcilable after only two months of marriage?
"Your honor, I had no idea she was an idiot. I can't live with an idiot."
"Your honor, did you know she had fake boobs? I have my standards. Paris may be flat, but at least she's natural."
"Your honor, he leaves the cap off the toothpaste. I'm convinced it's on purpose."
"Your honor, he listens to Ratt. For the love of God, RATT?"
Just another example of the sad state of affairs we find ourselves in these days. It's a wonder any of us is able to function at all. And did you hear about some war we're involved in over in one of those quote, "middle East" places? And I'm not talking about Virginia or Delaware; I'm talking about on like the other side of the world, Irak or Syrupy or one of those cities. Whatever though, right?
Pam – call me.
Stop the presses - December 18, 2007
According to Pam's website, it appears that the Salomon-Andersons are attempting to save their blessed union. There is hope people.
Who are we kidding Pam? Call me.
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