Hey Joe

Neil News

News on the sparkly shirt front is that singer/songwriter/70-year old, Neil Diamond, has announced his engagement to one manager/filmmaker/40-year old, Katie McNeil. NEIL Diamond. Katie McNEIL. How cute.

Neil may no longer be young but who cares, neither is Neil Young. We only hope he's still young at heart or Katie may kill him.

In other related Neil Diamond news, I did a KICK-ASS karaoke take on Sweet Caroline last Saturday. Seriously, I killed.

This just in: Neil Young has officially changed his name to Neil Not-So-Young.

Righting past wrongs

 

Word on the street is that J-Lo has handed Skeletor his walking papers.

For the shallow amongst us, this comes as no surprise. What DID come as a surprise was that she actually married this no talent gargoyle to begin with. Ah well, we're all entitled to our mistakes.

J-Lo, don't make another one. Llame a mi bebé

Cats: Man's Questionable Friend

 

In a constant effort to slash expenses while searching for work, I’ve thought more than once about dumping the cats – you know, two less mouths to feed and all that jazz.

Relax PETA folks. Holster those wagging fingers before you start pecking out that angry email.  I’m not talking about fitting them with cement kitty shoes, or sending them to “a nice farm where they can chase mice and have plenty of wide-open space to run around.” Besides, I think my kids are on to that one since they discovered that there’s no such thing as a guinea pig cruise ship. But I wonder sometimes if I’m getting a good “pleasure return” on my cat investment, and if I should consider investing that money into something else, like Chia Pets, or an expanded cable package. 

 

To read the rest of this awesome "cat tail" (Ha! I slay myself), CLICK HERE and scroll to page 16.

DUEL

 
"I'd like to report a truck driver who's been endangering my life."

You can't beat me on the grade. You can't beat me on the grade!

 

Awesome movie. And awesome shades, Dennis.

St. Elmo's Fire Turns Twenty-Five

 

It was twenty-five years ago that St. Elmo's Fire ignited the screen, and the careers of many of its cast members.

I think we can all agree that Demi Moore has aged the best, and went on to have the most successful career. I still don't get the Ashton Kutcher thing, but what do I know?

I totally dug Rob Lowe's hair in this flick. A mullet, I know. I'm ashamed now, but at the time it was kick-ass. Lowe had potential but derailed his career in 1988 when he got caught in a sex scandal involving video tape and a minor. Ironically he ended up on the West Wing in 1999. 

While my 20-year old self identified with Andrew McCarthy's chain-smoking, wannabe writer, Kevin Dolenz, I seem to recall Jay Mohr's SNL impression of McCarthy more than Andrew himself. As an actor I've never really cared for him, his expressions and his tendency to overact. I mean, look at that picture above. How forced is that laugh?

While I liked Emilio Estevez in St. Elmo's, I never much cared for him either: "'Andrew! You've got to be number one! I won't tolerate any losers in this family!" (Yes, I know that was The Breakfast Club, not St. Elmo) Plus he totally made a mess of the film adaptation of SE Hinton's That Was Then...This is Now.  I guess he was good in Repo Man.

Ally Sheedy. I don't recall what else she's done besides some lesbian art flick that I've never seen. Judd Nelson and his ever-expanding nostrils did a TV stint on Suddenly Susan. He appears to have stayed busy, but put a gun to my head and I still couldn't tell you what with. And then there's Maude  Mare Winningham. I like Mare for some reason, though at the moment I can only picture her as Wyatt Earps' laudanum addicted wife, Mattie Blaylock. I read that she was actually pregnant while filming St. Elmo's Fire; kind of funny since she played the virgin in the "scuba suit."

Anyway, happy 25th anniversary to the cast of St. Elmo's Fire. Considering that this was was a movie about 20-somethings it seems strange that it's only turning 25? Shouldn't it be turning 40-something like the rest of us?

Bringing the Sexy

 

Today I will be vacationing vicariously through Pam and Vicky, currently on tour in NYC. 

Above is a shot they took yesterday in Central Park. The dude is Justine "Brought the Sexy Back" Timberlake. The young hottie with him is the lovely Mila Kunis (That 70's Show, Forgetting Sarah Marshall). Apparently the two are currently in NY filming the romantic comedy, Friends with Benefits.

Today in Clayton I plan to do some laundry and maybe wash the car. Perhaps I'll take my shirt off and bring my own brand of sexy.
 

Lending credibility

Avon: if it's good enough for Reese Witherspoon, it's good enough for your tired ass.

Hey Joe: At the Movies

OK, it's the Monday before Christmas and there's not a whole lot going on. The office is relatively quiet and many people are already on vacation. I've completed the work on the upcoming issue of our corporate magazine and there's been no demand for press releases, service maps or customer letters.

SO, I thought I'd provide a wee bit o' fun. I'm not big into these meme things, but I stumbled upon a cool one over at Carver's Dog. The rules are to:

• Pick 10 of your favorite movies (I just got some actual work to do so I'm stopping at 8)
• Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
• Post the quotes for everyone to guess.
• NO CHEATING BY GOOGLING or using IMDb search or other search functions

I'm not tagging anyone, but feel free to do it if you're interested. If not, at least take a guess at my quotes.

1. "I don't know Cathy, maybe because it's *super* bad ass?"
2. "Good toss by the submissive out there!"
3. "She was a junkie for the printed word. Lucky for me, I manufactured her drug of choice."
4. "In my case, you know, I hate to advocate drugs or liquor, violence, insanity to anyone. But in my case it's worked."
5. "I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them."
6. "I'm always home. I'm uncool."
7. "Hey, what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry?"
8. "Aaaahhh, I'm hang-gliding! Take a good picture, honey, I'm dead!"

OK, so let's hear those guesses, and remember; no cheating! You really shouldn't have to because some of these are EASY.

This fish is beginning to smell

Gee big news flash CNN.

As I recall, someone else broke this story months and Sundays ago.

But thanks for the credit ya bunch of Johnny Come Latelies.

Clay is gay?

Well, I lost that bet.

Damnit.

What's next? Lindsay Lohan is going to come out as a clam clacker?