One of the great things about comic books was the ability to buy crap by mail.
We had no "internet" from which to purchase our useless trinkets. We had to get mom to write a check or purchase a money order, and then mail it with an order form to some place in Newark, NJ, or Grand Rapids, MI. Then we had to wait, and wait, and wait. Weeks would pass, and every day we'd come home from school and check the mailbox, finding only bills for mom and dad. Finally, one day there would be a lovely, brown paper package with our name on it. Oh the joy of receiving a package in the mail. And we'd rip it open only to experience the inevitable disappointment that comes from shopping by mail. Oh, but the anticipation of waiting for that package. It will never be equaled.
There was so much stuff on which one could spend their hard-earned allowance. "An Atlas Boy in 7 Days." Who wouldn't want Charles Atlas himself to teach his famous method of "Dynamic Tension" to give you "big, useful muscles?" All for free in his 32-page book.
How about, instead of wasting time sitting on your ass watching American Idol, you use some of that "at home - spare time" to earn yourself the "Badge of the Future – Conservation. Don't be chained to a desk, store counter or factory machine. Enjoy an outdoor life with extra rewards of hard muscles, bronzed skin, vibrant good health. Sleep under pines! Catch your breakfast from icy streams! Feel like a million and look like it! Step-by-step home study program gives you valuable 'know how' about this exciting outdoor life. Send for free Conservation Career Kit." Today's conservationist – tomorrow's homeless.
Then we have the Ed Sale Guitar Co. Let Ed Sales "amazing Secret System" teach you to "Play Guitar in 7 Days." You'll receive a "66-page instruction book, 52 photos, 87 chord and finger placing charts, 110 songs, chord finder, 'Special Guitarist's Book of Knowledge' and extra special wallet-size tuning device for tuning any guitar by ear. Total value - $9.00 Now all for only $4.98!" Endorsed by Eddie VanHalen.
Are you a pussy? Then "Learn terrific new defense and BE UNBEATABLE! Never again be humiliated, afraid. Fear lessly (sic) defend yourself against any and all attackers. Defeat brawlers, karate judo experts, even trained boxers! Black Belt, Vern Schroeter has invented powerful, easy to learn, unbeatable self defense system."
You could have your "Poems set to music." Or get "One million cash FREE (exact reproductions of old 1840 US Gold Banknotes),"
All this and much, much more, all for the cost of a stamp.