Flashback Friday

Several years ago I realized that I was a complete loser with no friends. As such, I begat a quest to remedy that little personal failing by hunting down potential pals. Tony was the first, and last, of my conquests. 

Will Blog for Friends

 

The facts:

• I'm a loser with no friends
• I'm older than most of my co-workers
• They want nothing to do with me anyway because…well see #1
• I have a blog

Up until this point I've used the POWER of this blog for the good of mankind, but no more. Today I'm using it to begin the Be Joe's Friend campaign.

During this crusade, I will turn the POWER of my blog into my personal bully pulpit, and attempt to badger various people into becoming my friend.

Why the hell not, right?

• Who pays the $4.95 to Typepad every month? Me.
• Who spends inordinate amounts of time coming up with creative chunks of flotsam for your enjoyment? Me.
• Who cries himself to sleep at night at the prospect of eating lunch alone every day? How the f*ck should I know? Certainly not me. Shut up.
• Who can use as many damn font types and bullets in his posts as he wants? Me.

So who can use his blog for whatever twisted agenda he freakin' wants?

You're damn right.

My first new "friend" will be a fellow blogger and local boy by the name of Tony Hicks. I understand he also writes a column for some local rag, but as we typically either:

1. Leave the newspaper in the driveway for weeks on end
2. Use it to protect our kitchen table during "art projects"
3. Use it to clean up Sonny's barf

I'm really not familiar with his work.

Joe's new friend --->

 

However he is local and he's generous when buying drinks, so he meets a few of the important criteria on the "Criteria to be Joe's Friend" list. The fact that he's a writer will allow us to "talk shop," in between checking out the local babes and arm wrestling.

Tony – let me know when you're free and we'll hook up and swap stories. I don't have any, so be prepared to talk. And bring your wallet.

OK, who else wants to be Joe's friend? Speak up!

 

Originally published on April 22, 2008 in My Life

Comments

[Pambasilea]

So is Tony an old friend now?

[heyjoe]

I'll let Tony answer that. Uhh, Tony? HELLO TONY!

[Tony Hicks]

Wha ... huh?! I feel like an old everything. Yes, Joe and I are friends. We socialize and I catch him admiring my wife. Of course, his isn't bad either ...

[heyjoe]

Yes, however it's been awhile since I've received an invitation to the Hick's household. Maybe I went overboard on the admiring. Actually, Tony speaks the truth, but my admiration has always been conducted in a gentlemanly and respectful manner. Perhaps I've stumbled upon the reason for the dwindling invites.

[Pambasilea]

Can dress you up, but can't take you out. Geez, Joe.