Today was parental payback day. I wonder if Hallmark makes a card for that? In any event, last week Pop came over and helped me trim the ever-loving crap out of our Morning Glory. There was so much dead Glory that it was likely becoming a fire hazard. I'd tried to trim some of it back once upon a time, but man that's a lot of work. Plus, idiot that I am, I was trying to remove the dead stuff while leaving the living. Not sure if you've ever seen an out of control Morning Glory bush, but the dead stuff is so intertwined with the living that it's basically impossible to separate the two. Your only option is hacking a big Morning Glory hole; cut it all back to small plants and allowing it to grow crazy again. So yeah, that was last week.
This morning I got a call from Pop asking that dangerous question: "What are your plans today?"
"Umm, yeah, let's see… "
"You hesitated too long! I need some help pulling up some of the bricks on the patio and leveling out the ground underneath. What time can you be here?"
Anyway, after getting home and cleaning the kitchen for the gazillionth effing time since October, I thought, "Gee, maybe I should try to apply for a job today," which turned out to be a good thought on my part because I found and applied, for six jobs that look like perfect matches.
I think that brings us to 114 perfect matches that I've applied for thus far. The phone's gonna ring any day now!
Actor Robert Culp died today at the age of 79. The I Spy actor was found on the ground outside his Hollywood home. It appears unclear whether the actor died from a blow to the head after falling, or if a heart attack killed the long-time Hollywood legend.
Culp is best known for his role in the 65-68 action/comedy, I Spy, where he starred opposite a young Bill Cosby. He also starred as an FBI agent who's in on William Katt's little secret in the sort of dopey 1980's television series, The Greatest American Hero. But lets not forget the 1969 spouse swapping comedy, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.
So I've been going through a lot of shirts the past two days.
Long about Tuesday night (or was it Wednesday? No matter.) I came down with "that cold." You know the one. You've either had it, know someone who has it, or are about to get it, you poor bastard. You know that sound of the "ocean" when you put a sea shell to your ear? That's what I'm hearing all day long.
I don't get a lot of colds, but this one came on out of nowhere. I felt fine all day and suddenly, while going to bed, I began to feel stuffy. I took a Benadryl®, no excuse me, a Wal-dryl, (have I mentioned that I'm a cheap bastard?) but it did no good. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sleep. I got up at 11:30 and popped another Wal-dryl and some Motrin® (excuse me, some Kirkland Ibuprofen) and watched crappy late night TV until 1 or so, finally passing out, breathing through my mouth like some knuckle-dragging oaf.
So now it's Friday and I'm still sick. I hate being sick, especially when it's nice and sunny out. But even if the weather sucks there's still too much to do to just stay in bed with a cold, so I pop the Sudafed* and forge onward.
Oh, the shirts. Have you ever noticed how there's never a box of Kleenex around when a sneeze comes on? Well, considerate guy that I am, in order to avoid spreading my filth, if I can't grab a tissue in time I've taken to lifting the bottom of my T-shirt up and over my face.
OK, so it WAS Friday when I started this post. It's now Tuesday. Peter Graves has bought the farm,and I wanted to post something before the next Theme Song Thursday.
WTF happened to the weekend? I know soccer got cancelled on Saturday but we played two games on Sunday instead. In-between games we squoze in a baseball practice. Saturday the boy and I went baseball stuff shopping and made a trip to the batting cages. The girl and I babysat for my overactive niece and nephew on Saturday night. It's more like riot control than babysitting, but fortunately there was no bloodshed – most likely because Don was not riding the scooter. Not sure I ever mentioned that story. Back in October my nephew received one of those electric Razors for his birthday. My brother-in-law, in a fit of youth-anism, attempted to ride it down their very steep street. If you do the math (weight to speed ratio of a 200 lb man, multiplied by the angle of incline of their street, divided by the square root of jackassary) you'll realize that once the old speed wobble kicked in it was all over. One toasted Oregon Ducks shirt and bruised ego later we drove him back up the hill.
The best part was that we watched the whole thing from our rearview mirror, and after we stopped laughing long enough to realize "Hey, he may be hurt," we spun around and picked him up. But we continued the laughter on the ride home. OK, Lisa did not join us. What can I say, she has compassion.
Where was I? Oh yeah, so we babysat on Saturday night.
So yesterday I get a call from my dad ("Mother is driving.") informing me that he was on his way to the ER with chest pains. He's home now and everything is fine. Thank you for your concern. The EKG and the blood test were negative for any heart damage, but he was kept overnight because he was still feeling some discomfort. A stress test was done this morning. Whatever it was, it was not heart related. They think it may have been a muscular thing, though I'm not sure exactly what that means. In any event he seems well. I brought mom back to the ER this morning to wait it out and bring him home. I was rewarded with a Bullet Sub® from Quiznos; well worth it. I kid of course. There is no way that I will ever be able to repay all that my folks have done for me. They are amazing people. I hope they know that. I mean I hope they know that I'll never be able to repay them, not that they're amazing. Just want to be clear.
So now it's about 1:30. I've got our crusty sheets in the wash and I need to run to the grocery store and, oh yeah, I have a test writing assignment for U____ College that I have yet to start. And the boy will be home by 3.