Hey Joe

A Warm Thanksgiving - a short story

The scent of roasting turkey filled the small, kitchen. Streams of condensed steam from the simmering vegetables ran down the front window, dripping and pooling along the discolored caulking of the cracked, porcelain sink.

She pulled a dishcloth from a bin under the sink and wiped the moisture away from the glass as a battered, blue Volkswagen Squareback pulled up in front of the house. She watched the occupants talking amongst themselves, making no move to exit the car.

"Are they here?" Her husband had come up behind her and was resting his hands on her shoulders.

"Yes, but they're just sitting in the car."

He turned his attention to the vegetables, lowering the flame that licked the copper bottom of the pan.

"This is going to be hard for them," he said.

"Hard for all of us,"

Read the rest of A Warm Thanksgiving.

Enjoy the holidays.

Ethics: the 8th Deadly Sin

What you see before you is the boy's "Crunch & Munch" snack.

The fifth grade teacher offers his students what is referred to as a "Crunch & Munch" certificate, award, mark of distinction, whatever.

I'm not exactly sure how they receive them, but I believe it has something to do with all of one's homework being turned in complete and on time. And even then, one is not guaranteed the liberty to crunch and/or munch at will. I think a drawing or some other fixed random selection process determines those who will be free to gorge themselves all day on whatever snack food items (besides soda) that they bring to school on a predetermined Friday.

In the boy's case, he purchased his C&M pass during some sort of silent auction, spending upwards of $300 of the imaginary $700 they each received for a 5^th grade lesson in economics.

It's comforting to know that my son is being taught early in life that what cannot be achieved through will, hard work and determination can always be bought if one has the financial means.

But enough about ethics. BORING!

On the predetermined Friday (TODAY!!), the crunch and munchers are allowed to bring in whatever they want, and apparently as much as they want. The spoils are then placed under their desks within easy reach, of the gluttonous sloth's deserving student's greedy reach.

I asked the boy last night as he packed up more than $20 worth of edibles if, just perhaps, he might be over-doing it a bit.

"Dad, we get to eat all day."

Ah, of course.

Likely my Friday evening plans will include tending to a 10-year old boy with a raging stomachache while imparting a lesson on moderation and the importance of hard work, or some such rot.

So what are your plans?

This slip is actually pretty comfortable

What it said:     Waxman topples Dingell for key panel chair

What I read:    Waxman topless Dingell for key panel chair

Those Yahoo News folks are pretty astute. How many of us could resist a story that contains both topless and Dingell? Throw in a bit of wax and you've got the makings for a pretty good night on the town.

Alas, I was sorely disappointed.

Adam Rich – A popular son of a bitch

Every so often I'll check my "stats" on Google Analytics. I do this because I need frequent reminders of how I'm basically writing this blog for myself. Golly but my stats suck ass.

Be that as it may, I have found that I get a pretty consistent stream of folks swinging by looking for information on "cute as a bug's ear" child actor, Adam Rich.

I have no idea if the whole Sacramento tire store business is true or not, but I do know this; Adam, your fans miss you. I think it's time to resurface and perhaps bring them up to speed on what you've been doing with yourself, lo these many years. Your fans need some answers to questions such as the following:

• Are you still in touch with your Eight is Enough costars?
• Did you pull a Bonaduce and lose your virginity to some older fan on the back-lot of Warner Bros. Studios?
• Did you ever see any of your "sisters" naked? (I'll assume a NO on Mary as I have read nothing about your going blind.)
• Did they make you wear that "long bowl" hairstyle, or was that a personal choice?
• A tire store? WTF?

If you're looking for a vehicle by which to reconnect with your fans, look no further. My site is very popular. Very popular.

Northern California’s Foggy Bermuda Triangle

 

New post up at UpTake. Photos courtesy of Lisa.

Early last year my wife and I took a trip to Larkspur, CA.

Now I will admit, Larkspur was not necessarily top on our list of "Places We'd Like to Visit Before We Die," but at the time we were in possession of a $150 Marriott Hotels gift card and were in search of a local destination at which to cash it in. Much to my surprise, Marriott doesn't have much to offer that's off the beaten path, so in our quest for "exotic locals," Larkspur won out over Walnut Creek and San Jose.

Read the rest at UpTake.

Adrienne Barbeau hawks her wares

Bosomy Barbeau will be appearing at a local book store this Sunday at 5:00 PM to read, sign, and hawk her new book, Vampyres of Hollywood.

Would showing up just to hawk gawk be wrong, or do I have to buy her book?

R.I.ewwww

Gus

1999 - 2008

"World's Ugliest Dog 2008", Gus, has died from cancer.

His looks should improve in about 4-6 weeks.

Before you Take off, UpTake

OK, a little shameless self-promotion today.

I recently signed on to write some posts for UpTake Vacation Blog.

My first post was published yesterday. Please go check it out.

(Thanks Snooze)

Jim Crow takes flight in California

Yea, I know I'm on a break.

Well this election had both joys and sorrows. Listening to President elect Obama's speech last night and the excitement I felt at the prospect of true change, youth and vitality in the Oval office, was dampened by the news that Proposition 8 seemed destined to win.

I really don't know what to say. I'm disappointed that a state as progressive, as forward thinking and accepting of personal differences as California would approve a law that straight up discriminates against a huge segment of the population. That there are still those who carry so much fear or hatred that they believe being gay is a choice and that if children are made aware of "these people" and are taught about differences and tolerance that "Oh my God, they might turn gay!" That anyone in this day and age can still use the term "Separate but Equal." That my son, who was chanting "No on 8" as we walked to the polls last night and was upset when he heard the news this morning, had to return to school today where most of his classmates parents (and therefore his classmates) were in favor of Prop 8.

It is indeed a sad reflection on our state.

But thank God we voted to give chickens better living facilities.

• Chickens:    1
• Human Rights:    0

Belly up

I realized yesterday that we're supposed to go to Tahoe for Thanksgiving which will leave me without a computer for several days. As such, I'm afraid I will be unable to fulfill my NaBloPoMo obligations.

I also realized that I'm feeling sort of burnt out on blogging and will therefore be taking a sabbatical, the length of which has yet to be determined.

I'll likely post on occasion as the mood strikes, but I feel the need to let it go and focus on other things for a spell; to allow myself to stop thinking about what the hell I can write about. When it begins to feel like work it's time to take a vacation. My stats blow anyway so it's as good a time as any to take a break.

I'm sure that as soon as I publish this, I'll come up with a zillion topics that I simply must write about, and like the jackass I am I'll be posting again by this afternoon. We'll see.

So anyway, there you go. If you find you just can't do without me (it is to laugh) there's plenty of fluff in the archives off to your left.

I'll be back.