I know you're on the edge of your seat, squirming with anticipation as to how I spent my weekend. Well hold on to your hats because this is a doozy.
Saturday – I got to work four hours of maintenance detail at my kid's school!
Can you believe that sh*t? Does that not TOTALLY kick ass or what?
And guess what I got to do for four hours?! I got to sand, scrape and paint this bad boy.
And I'll tell you what, f*ck that Tom Sawyer sh*t. I wasn't about to share the fun here. This baby was all mine.
As my buddy Leigh would say, do not hate me beeatches.
Needless to say, four hours of gaiety goes by like a shot, and despite my tears and pleas to stay and maybe scrape gum off the blacktop with a putty knife, something, anything, I was once again forcibly removed from the school property, my maintenance obligation complete for another year.
To cheer myself up, I went by Dirtbags R Us the Dollar Tree for some balloons with which to decorate the house for my nephew's birthday party.
It was an evening of beer and burgers and Budweiser, topped off with what I thought was going to be the good time known as, You Don't Mess with the Zohan.
Now I can't really give this movie a fair review because we've only watched about half of it, however the fact that I have little interest in seeing the second half might tell you something.
Sunday. Sunday? ….Sun…day…, oh yes, we did jack sh*t.
For those of you unfamiliar with the term, Jack sh*t includes paying bills, and doing laundry and shampooing carpets, and taking the boy to his basketball team picture – only to decide afterwards that we're going to drop out of basketball due to other commitments like school and sanity, so the boy will be that kid in the team photo that everyone says, "Oh, he's the kid who quit the team right after this photo was taken."—and then to a select soccer scrimmage game and then to church and then home where the girl and I sated our craving for ground cow pressed together in convenient patty shaped blocks, while Lisa and the boy dined on more refined fare of rectangular breaded fish chunks.
Yes we always live this large beeatches.
The evening ended with episode 8 of True Blood in which Bill gets himself a little nookie Sookie, and Jason and Amy on the hunt (literally) for some V. I honestly don't know what the critics are saying about this show but it's defiantly sunk its teeth into me.
Oh, how I slay myself.