Be it known that I recently won the Caption Contest Competition over at Mattress Police.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all those who voted for me. The fact that you "get me" truly warms my soul. Your unwavering support and belief in me has really pulled me through some tough times.
I'd also like to thank my readers, for without you I am nothing but a noisy gong; a clashing cymbal. Because of you I find the strength to dig a little deeper, to pull one more sophomoric piece of jetsam out of my ass. Your devotion makes it all worthwhile.
Now go get me a sandwich, and then have yourself a good weekend.