Can’t we all just get along?

In what appears to be a coincidence of biblical proportions, no sooner does the Vatican give its blessing on the possibility of alien life forms, when Darth Vader suddenly decides to attack the hallowed Jedi Church of Wales.

According to the Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory,

"such a notion 'doesn't contradict our faith' because aliens would still be God's creatures. Ruling out the existence of aliens would be like 'putting limits' on God's creative freedom."

Meanwhile, Darth Vader was busy clobbering Jedi Church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — in the head with a metal crutch, light saber. Vader also apparently bonked Jones' cousin, Michael – AKA Master Mormi Hehol.

According to reports, the Jedi Church has about 30 members, and says on its Web site that it uses "insight and knowledge" from the films as "a guide to living a better and more worthwhile life."

My God what a collection of geeks they must be.

Anyway, back at the Vatican, we find Rev Funes saying,

"Just as we consider earthly creatures as 'a brother,' and 'sister,' why should we not talk about an 'extraterrestrial brother'? It would still be part of creation."

So on one side we have Funes proselytizing the idea that we're all God's creations, and that the hulking, salivating, multi-toothed creature that exterminated nearly all the crew members of Nostromo could, in fact be my spiritual brother. And over there we have Darth Vader running amok playing Whack-a-Mole with the congregation of the Jedi Church.

It's a world gone mad people.

Comments

[clyde]

i guess i am racist on an intergalatic scale. the thought of jabba the hut woofing the holy toast and slithering his fat ass into the telephone booth to spew his sins doesn't seem consistent with the Holy See.

well, the good news is that Hell just got a whole lot more interesting.

[natalie]

clyde...your comment on hell cracked me up! so i considered heaven and well i can't wait to see who made it!

[jk]

Joe, how on earth do you find this stuff? Do they have pictures of this church? I also have to admit that I was a little confused since I haven't seen all the Star Wars movies...looks like I have some catching up to do. Over to Netflix to update the cue!

[VE]

I need to start a cult based on a film. I'm thinking about building it on one of the following: Office Space (my ultimate goal of doing nothing), Ferris Buehler's Day Off (slacking done to an art form), The Big Lebowski (writing a 69 cent check...too good)

[BOSSY]

Bossy would rather frequent the church of Crate & Barrel.