Recently, I was introducing the kids to the classic humor that is Caddyshack; in particular, a little Spalding Smails related humor and the infamous Baby Ruth scene. Of course they loved it and now cries of "Spalding NO!" and "Doodie" continually echo throughout our home.
As with all things pointless, it got me to thinking about where old Spalding, aka John F. Barmon Jr, has been keeping himself since 1980 and Caddyshack.
Initially, the answer appeared to be "nowhere." According to IMDB Caddyshack was his only movie. Below is the information I found.
His "Performer Profile" reads as follows:
Gender: Male
Height: 6 feet
Weight: 265
Age Range: 35 - 50
Physique: Heavyset
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: Short
Eyes: Hazel
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Voice Type: Baritone
That is impressive.
WTF?
They also list "Performer Skills". Get a load of 'em:
Athletic Skills: Boxing, Golf
Musical Instruments: Piano, Guitar
Performance Skills: Comedian, Voiceover, Host
Education: Seattle University, Seattle, Washington, BFA, 1982
Employment Details. OK, here we go….
Work History : Commercial, Radio, Film, Television, Theater
Job Categories: Acting
Are you willing to work unpaid?: No
Authorized to work in United States: Yes
Primary Citizenship: United States
Valid Passport: Yes
Prior Job Title(s): Caddyshack
Again, WTF?
Has this guy been living in a cave for the past 28 years?
No sir he has not!
John F. Barmon Jr apparently gave up the lure of fame, fortune and Hollywood to sell real estate in Cambridge, Massachusetts. And it would appear that he does a kick-ass job of it, described as "a top producing sales agent of Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage." In addition, he holds a slew of designations and sales awards.
I'll tell you what, if ever I need a realtor in the Cambridge area I'm totally using Spalding. That would be awesome.
So in conclusion, I'll leave you with some memorable Spalding quotes.
Spalding Quotes
Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?
This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it
Doodie!
Spaulding: I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake...
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it.
Spaulding: Turds!
Judge Smails: Spaulding, how many times have I spoken to you about your language?
Spaulding: Sorry grandpa I forgot.
Spaulding: Double turds!
Judge Smails: Spaulding!
Rat farts!
Caddyshack is one of my favorite movies of all time! "Goongala-galoonga"
Posted by: Snooze | March 19, 2008 at 06:15 PM
i totally agree. i love that movie!
(quietly not admitting that i have actually never seen caddyshack...oh the shame i feel.)
Posted by: natalie | March 20, 2008 at 03:21 AM
Natalie - I don’t know what the video/DVD rental situation is like in Turkey, but I suggest you procure a copy of Caddyshack posthaste and get yourself up to speed. You're really missing out.
Snooze - A true classic. Pick up that blood.
Posted by: HeyJoe | March 20, 2008 at 08:50 AM
It's a classic! The kids loved the gopher even when they were little. I don't think they caught on to all the sexual inuendos back then either. That's an interesting update. Sounds like he's had a few too many cheeseburgers though...
Posted by: VE | March 20, 2008 at 09:48 AM