Hey Joe

Up for grabs

Reports are flooding in that Salma Hayek and Franci-Henrri, Francis-Hemmy, Frenchie have called off their engagement.

No comments as to the whys were given, but we all know why.

Salma, call me.

 

P.S.

Be it known, Dear Hey Joe readers, that I will be at Lake Tahoe all next week, and unless I experience a total geek out, and visit the public library (totally possible by the way) there probably won't be many posts a-comin', however you are free to rummage through the archives for past gems and a peek into the life and mind of Joe. Or just sit here and stare at Salma's impressive (Good God) attributes.

Either way, enjoy.

Into the Wilds of Martinez

Because Lisa and I like to live large, we did it up big time, and went to Martinez last night.

KC and Jenny had invited us to see Jerry Hannan at Armando's. Unfortunately in order to go we had to break the hearts of the orphans by backing out of their annual charity black tie affair, and then we disappointed scads of other folks by turning down their invitations to various hootenannies. Regardless, it was a small price to pay for the smiles of delight that shined on the faces of KC and Jenny when we accepted their offer of a quaint evening down near the railroad tracks.

We're big-hearted that way.

In all honesty I'd never heard of Jerry Hannan before last night, but KC and Jenny have followed him for years. I guess he's a pretty big draw up in the Marin County area. I will say that he puts on a damn fine show, and has experienced a bit of commercial success lately, having contributed the song Society to Eddie Vedder's Into the Wild soundtrack, as well as participating in Sean Penn's Dirty Hands Caravan.

Armando's is an eclectic little joint on Marina Vista. "Armando" is an older gentlemen, retired I believe, who is currently renovating the upstairs area of Armando's into what will be his living quarters. He books various local talent, from blues to bluegrass to jazz and classical. No "rock/garage-type bands."

Dig this though, we spoke to Jerry after the show because, well because that's how we roll; hobnobbing with the talent, and apparently he does what I believe he referred to as "In Home" shows, maybe he called them "Living Room" shows or possibly "Breakfast Nook" shows. Never the less, you can have Jerry come to your pad, charge your friends and neighbors say $10-$15 bucks a head, have everyone bring a little beer or wine, maybe some nibblies and have yourself your very own hootenanny. Jerry takes the door (that's showbiz talk for all the money collected) and everyone gets to have themselves a bitching time. Sounds pretty good, don't it?

So who can I count on to show up at KC's place if we do it?

Another close call

I got out of my car this morning and was half way to the office before I realized that my Bluetooth thingy was still on my ear.

Yes I know "it's the law," but let's be clear; that only applies to the car. There is no law that says you must look like a jackass when outside of your car.

So to all of you folks who insist on wearing your ear bud thingy at all times, even when you're not on the phone (good God); just stop. Please.

And if you're ever wearing one in my presence, while I may not say anything, just know I'm thinking: "What a jackass."

You don't want that, do you?

I think this kid grew up on my street

"Let me play or I'm going to take my football and go home."

Brain seepage

I often wonder what people without blogs do when random thoughts enter their heads. Do they speak them out loud to complete strangers? Do they jot them down in little notebooks and read them in bed with a flashlight? Do they spray paint their thoughts on a high-way overpass?

Or, do they simply keep all their weirdness inside and continue to present the illusion that they're normal? That is until all that pent up weirdness explodes and they flip a nutty, thereby ending up on the evening news.

Speaking of news…

… there seems to be so much happening these days. Let's you and I take a look.

Ooh, they've now got a new classification for the office bitch/dickhead— Desk Rage; grumpy employees, short-tempers, rudeness and blatant hostility.

"It runs gamut from just rudeness up to pretty extreme abusive behaviors," said Paul Spector, professor of industrial and organizational psychology at the University of South Florida. "The severe cases of fatal violence get a lot of press but in some ways this is more insidious because it affects millions of people."

The article gives all sorts of reasons; long commutes, bad economy, financial difficulties and dwindling discretionary income, which in turn does not allow people the ability to pursue their "personal pastimes."

Says Anna Maravelas, author of "How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress,

"… we used to do that kind of stuff (asshole behavior) at home but at work, we were professional. Now it's almost becoming trendy to do it at work. It was something we did behind closed doors," she said. "Now people are losing their sense of embarrassment over it."

Very true. Over the years I've seen quite a bit of attitude tossing. Somewhere along the line attitude and smack talk became fashionable. Now I guess we can add public bitch-slapping to the list.

I see that during the summer Olympics, many Beijing restaurants are planning to remove "dog" from their menus, which is enjoyed by "…the large Korean community in China's capital but is also popular in Yunnan and Guizhou restaurants."

"Concerned that canine dishes might offend animal rights groups and Western visitors, Beijing said restaurants expected to be popular among foreign visitors must stop serving dog meat "to respect the dining customs of different countries."

So much for Westerners expanding their palates. Personally I think that's bullshit. Who are Westerners or jackass animal rights activists to dictate what they serve in their own country. Just because I don't choose to eat Fido doesn't mean that they should have to take it off their menu, lest they offend me.

And come on, "Respect the dining customs of different countries"? When the Olympics are held in the states do restaurants stop serving beef out of respect for Hindus? Not bloody likely.

Ooo, I'm working up a good bit of desk rage here. I may just have to give a co-worker a good cuffing to alleviate some of this anger.

Finally, Zeus is apparently pissed off and taking it out on the youth of our country. Five young people, ranging in age from 16 to 23 suffered the wrath of Olympus' top dog, when they were struck down by lighting over the course of a week early this month. A few safety tips from the National Weather Service.

• Do not seek shelter under tall isolated trees while staying away from tall, isolated objects.
• Wet ropes can make excellent conductors. If you are mountain climbing and see lightning and can do so safely, remove unnecessary ropes extended or attached to you. If a rope is extended across a mountain face and lightning makes contact with it, the electrical current will likely travel along the rope, especially if it is wet.
• Do fly a kite with a key tied to the string during a storm
• Stay away from metal objects, such as fences, poles and backpacks. Metal is an excellent conductor. The current from a lightning flash will easily travel for long distances
• Do not reenact battle scenes, be they Civil War or Jedi Power battles. Muzzle-loading rifles and light sabers are both excellent conductors of lighting. If you experience a total geek-out and simply must reenact battle scenes, it is recommended that you do so in your parent's basement where you are less likely to attract lightning and/or wedgies

Have a good Monday.

R.I.P.

Tony Snow

1955 - 2008

Former Bush Administration press secretary, Tony Snow, died today from colon cancer.

A writer, commentator and news host for Fox, Snow became press secretary in 2006, a position he held for 17 months.

Fans of Snow enjoyed how he was not shy about playing to the cameras, regularly chastising and challenging reporters from the podium.

Snow suffered his second bout with cancer while serving as press secretary. Doctors removed his colon in 2005 and in 2007 discovered and removed a cancerous growth from his abdominal region.

A former journalist, Snow left journalism in 1991 to join the first Bush administration as Director of Speech Writing, and Deputy Assistant to the president for media affairs. He went back to journalism during most of Clinton's administration, writing nationally syndicated columns for The Detroit News and USA Today.

Friday Twofer

Dig it. After a long dry spell the last meals are being doled out fast and furious.

First there was Carlton Turner of – SURPRISE!!- Texas. Convicted of murdering his adoptive parents (how's that for gratitude), Turner bought the farm on Thursday.

Turner was served up a last meal of fried chicken, cheese and onion omelets and chocolate cake.

Yummy!

Next we have Kent Jackson, also rubbed out on Thursday; however this time the state of Virginia did the honors. Before the festivities, Jackson did his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression when he told witnesses, "I'll be back."

But get this. Apparently Jackson asked that the contents of his last meal not be released. I guess his last wish was to deny Joe his goulash ghoulish jollies. But I will not be denied. Further research has determined that, while Jackson ultimately refused his last meal, he had ordered chicken stir fry, a salad, cookies and an orange drink.

Is anyone else hungry right now?

A Very Short Fairy Tale

One day, long, long ago.......
there lived a woman who did not nag or bitch.

But this was a very long time ago.......

and it was just that one day.

The End

Submited by crazy Texan, Forrest "Don't call me Gump" Eleuterius.

Thanks Forrest.

Number 572! I RULE! – Correction – I’ve since dropped to 592. I SO rule.

So I got to scrolling around over at Humor-Blogs, vaguely recalling that at some point way back when I had submitted my blog for review. Apparently I wasn't the only one.

It took me a little time to find out if I was even listed, but eureka, there I am, number 572 592, sandwiched between Mr. llaarijs: Confessions of a Crazy Squirrel and Crazy Texas Mommy.

My Score:    0

I assume this means that:

1. No one has bothered to review me
2. I suck
3. Either 1 or 2
4. Both 1 and 2

Actually, I don't quite understand how it all works over at the humor-blogs. 15-Minute Lunch has been at the top of the list for like ever. Is his blog really that funny? Admittedly I loved his JC Penny post, but frankly many of his posts, while they could very well be brilliant, are just too long for me. I'm an extremely impatient blog reader and if I'm going to invest a significant amount of time reading something it needs to be in paper and ink format. I have a lot of trouble reading long chunks of internet text. Make your point, make me laugh and let me move on.

I also notice that blogger friend, Leigh is listed in the top ten. Deserving? Maybe, maybe not. However she's certainly much cuter than Johnny over at 15-Minute Lunch.

The question: Who's a guy have to blow to get reviewed?

The answer: Diesel.

Shudder, I mean awesome.

I’ve got the music in me. That or unrequited issues with John

My blogger friend, Natalie over at Tell Me About It, recently wrote about her love of music, and how certain songs can stimulate very strong feelings and memories.

While posting a comment to her blog I said,

"Wow, I could think about this for days. To this day there are certain songs that, as soon as they come on the radio make me sort of stop in my tracks as the memories flood back."

I realized that the subject itself is worthy of its own post. So below is essentially my comment to Natalie expanded to include a few more songs and/or bands.

What's interesting is that there are a lot of songs/bands I was into back in the day that don't necessarily evoke any particular memories, but then there are other random songs (even if I wasn't into the band or even like the song at the time) that, for whatever reason, bring back very specific feelings or memories. 

To wit:

"True," by Spandau Ballet always reminds me of high school; the hallways, people, etc. it also was in the movie Sixteen Candles, which we watched over and over when VCR's first exploded on the scene.

"Do You Believe in Love" by Huey Lewis & the News also reminds me of my late HS, early Jr. College days. There was a group of kids from our church that all hung out together for several years around 83-85, and this song reminds me of those times and those people.

"My Ever Changing Moods," by The Style Council. John, my best friend from high school and I ended up rooming together in the college dorms after we both spent a few years at a JC. He was into The Jam and The Style Council during our dorm days and this song forever makes me think of our days at SF State.

Someone on Natalie's blog mentioned "Walking on Sunshine." John and I were running the music at my younger sister's HS graduation (1985). When they were processing out to Pomp & Circumstance we rigged it so that it would segue into "Walking on Sunshine." The kids loved it. The principal was pissed.

"Hard to Say I'm Sorry," by Chicago. Huge hit around 1983. Reminds me of the summer I graduated high school and of a Chicago concert I saw that summer.

"It had to be you," performed by Harry Connick, Jr. This was from the soundtrack of When Harry Met Sally. When we got married, Lisa and I chose it for our first dance. While we had a live band perform it, the Connick version will always remind me of Lisa and our whole engagement period.

"I Don't Like Mondays," by The Boomtown Rats – High school, senior year. John and I working as teacher assistants at a local Elementary School.

New Clear Days, the album by The Vapors – John, Ed and I were inseparable during our Sr. year. We were all into this band and this album.

"Spring Collection," by The Vapors from the above album. The bus ride back from Grad Night at Disneyland. I had a crush on Denise who was sitting behind me. I loaned her my Walkman to listen to this song. It still reminds me of her and that trip.

"The Breakup Song, "by Greg Khin. Summer of 1982, hanging out with John and my family in Tahoe. John and I going through a phase of constantly chewing on cinnamon toothpicks. This song was also a staple in the repertoire of The Wizdum Rats, Ed, Steve and Paul's band back in high school.

"My Friends, my Friends," by Eddie Money. Eddie Money's "No Control" album was huge toward the end of high school. This song always makes me think of my friend Ed.

Chicago 17, the album – came out right about the time Lisa and I began dating. This entire album reminds me of her and those early days of our relationship.

"Happy Loving Couples," by Joe Jackson. John again. John turned me on to Joe Jackson back around 1982. Back in the day, John was pretty shy and seemed unhappy about the fact that he didn't have a girlfriend. As Ed and I both had girlfriends, the lyrics to this song always seemed very much aligned with John's situation.

"The Long and Winding Road," by The Beatles and "I've Been Searching So Long," by Chicago were the two songs our senior class sang at graduation. Both songs still remind me of those last weeks of high school; graduation practice, signing year books, saying good-bye knowing that we were moving on, and wondering where life would take us.

I could go on and on, but this post, unlike all my others, is beginning to feel rather self-absorbed.

I'd love to hear about some of your songs, and the memories they evoke